An Ideal Husband

Morning-room at Sir Robert Chiltern's house. LORD GORING, dressed in the height of fashion, is lounging in an armchair. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN is standingin front of the fireplace. He is evidently in a state of great mental excitement and distress. As the scene progresses hepaces nervously up and down the room.]LORD GORING. My dear Robert, it's a very awkward business, very awkward indeed. You shouldhave told your wife the whole thing. Secrets from other people's wives are a necessary luxury inmodern life. So, at least, I am always told at the club by people who are bald enough to know better.But no man should have a secret from his own wife. She invariably finds it out. Women have awonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Arthur, I couldn't tell my wife. When could I have told her? Not last night. Itwould have made a life-long separation between us, and I would have lost the love of the onewoman in the world I worship, of the only woman who has ever stirred love within me. Last night itwould have been quite impossible. She would have turned from me in horror . . . in horror and incontempt.LORD GORING. Is Lady Chiltern as perfect as all that?SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; my wife is as perfect as all that.LORD GORING. Taking off his left-hand glove.] What a pity I beg your pardon, my dear fellow, I didn'tquite mean that. But if what you tell me is true, I should like to have a serious talk about life withLady Chiltern.SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. It would be quite useless.LORD GORING. May I try?SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; but nothing could make her alter her views.LORD GORING. Well, at the worst it would simply be a psychological experiment.SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. All such experiments are terribly dangerous.LORD GORING. Everything is dangerous, my dear fellow. If it wasn't so, life wouldn't be worthliving. . . . Well, I am bound to say that I think you should have told her years ago.