I Saw the Elephant
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Back in my time, everybody knew what seeing the elephant was all about-experiencing and, better yet, surviving new and often horrific situations. All us brave emigrants who traversed the Oregon Trail saw the elephant at least once during our overland journey.
In July of 1852, I called upon my friend Polly but never made it to her family's farm. Instead, I encountered the all-fired pachyderm in all his monstrosity. Quicker than a power of lightning, I went from farm girl on the Oregon frontier to the new kid at Forestview Middle School. Of course, there'll be naysayers who claim that I fabricated my memoir, but I most certainly did time travel from 1852 to 2015. Habituating myself to iPhones, automobiles, computers, and other such-like things was disquieting and arduous in and of itself. However, just when my life had settled down, I discovered Mormons had festered out from their stronghold in Utah. Sakes alive! Exactly like when I lived in the 1800s, I once again suffered the inspired idiocy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Elizabeth Iola Loveless
-A wry satire of the Mormon church-past and present.
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