Understanding the Interpersonal Dynamics of Married Couples' Well-being The Role of Compassion and Forgiveness
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INTRODUCTION Robert Quillen has observed that a happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. Forgiveness has been assumed to play an important role in human relationships of all sorts but its systematic empirical inquiry took a new momentum only after the establishment of Positive Psychology in 2000. The effectiveness of forgiveness in clinical and counselling practices has been evinced in many studies which reported that mental and physical health is significantly shaped by forgiveness (Harris & Thoresen, 2005). Giving and receiving forgiveness is significant for a romantic relationship, marital longevity and satisfaction (Fenell, 1993). It is also critical for the healing process for relationship transgressions, like infidelity (Gordon et al., 2005) and everyday relationship hurts (Fincham et al., 2004). Forgiveness requires to forget about the transgression and reconcile with the offender (Kearns & Fincham, 2004), and acceptance, condone and excuse are important for forgiveness. Recently, the construct of forgiveness has been defined in a new perspective that views it as a process of change that makes a person to become less motivated to think, feel and behave negatively pertaining to offenders (Worthington, 2005). It has been posited that forgiveness is extended as it is an altruistic gift (Worthington, 2005) or a cancellation of debt (Exline & Baumeister, 2000). Forgiveness is both intrapersonal and interpersonal that involves intra-individual and pro-social change towards a perceived transgression situated in a specific interpersonal context (McCullough et al., 2000). It involves changes that occur through an intentional process driven by a deliberate decision to forgive (McCullough et al., 2000; Worthington, 2005). It has been argued that forgiveness is the cornerstone of a successful marriage (Worthington, 1994). Forgiveness can help couples to deal with existing difficulties, prevent the emergence of future problems (Worthington & DiBlasio, 1990) and to
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