Silent Struggle: Resilience through adversity

A story based on true events. A story of love, heartache, deceit, and despair. A story of the everyday lives endured by a hidden proportion of society. A world they did not ask to be part of and would not necessarily ever choose again. Events start to unravel when the system closes in on a bewildered family. The middle class cossetted family life they had enjoyed and loved. The only life they knew, starts to implode with devastating effects. The perfect family unit enjoyed by so many was the plan, this was not the script. The perfect family who for generations enjoyed paid education, wealth, and privilege. This privileged life had allowed them to build a beautiful family, stunning home, and high net worth social circle in sunny Nottingham. The flawless family is set to add the final piece of the jigsaw with the birth of the twins. Life is good and this will square the circle. All is well, the future bright.

An evening of anticipated joy tragically turns into a night of disasters and incompetence. Avoidable mistakes and lack of leadership at the birth result in catastrophic brain injuries for the twins. The full extent of the injuries unknown. A night of delight turns to darker and darker as events unfold. Ben and Lou, struggling with the unravelling events watch their twins fight for survival against the odds. The Kafkaesque health authority immediately and sinisterly close ranks on the events of that night. Led by their commander and chief manipulator who knows the drill! Ben and Lou want answers but know now is not the time, but their time will come. It didn't feel like a natural event, it felt like a string of avoidable events. They were high risk, why was the plan not delivered? Services provided by the authority will catch us. Multi-agency input starts with the letters dropping daily from the various wings of the authority. It's apparent though from the fist interactions that the authority is not all it seems, a slick anti support machine, controlled by budgets and finance, not love and compassion. The authority is complex, complicated, and not set up to be there unconditionally for its end users when they need it most. Abuse of process, endless box ticking and 'you don't fit the criteria' rigidly formatted forms and very complex characters result in feelings of absolute despair. Health, Education and Social care are pulling in different directions and the family are left to make sense of the battles they face on a daily basis. The lonely battle is just beginning.

The story looks at Ben, the forgotten dad, the special needs dad, struggling with the circumstances they find themselves in. Struggling to make a connection as a dad to his new circumstances. He slowly starts to close up emotionally and goes off the rails. Not being able to understand his feelings of despair, desperately struggling emotionally to hold it all together goes completely off piste. Spiralling to understand his future he loses touch with himself, committing the ultimate sin. Lou, a mum, wife, a women who finds a deep inner strength she didn't realise she had. Whilst being the main carer 24/7 she desperately tried to hold it all together fighting her emotions, the system, and the world it seems. Stoic and resilient refuses to give in. Lou is unconditionally there for her family, but life events result in somethings and some people being cut adrift. Lou has to dig deep as their life is unravelling around her. Over time she leads the family through the battles they encounter. Alone and fighting with the quicksand softening around her with no safety rope.

This isn't just a medical negligence or special needs family story. It's a story of resilience against the odd but you cannot be there 24/7 forever. This is a story based on facts and how sliding doors moments in life change the course of everyday lives, every day.