The Lonely Hour: "The Sun went on Vacation" Volume I

Throughout the time I wrote this book, I was trying to understand what really hurt me so much to the point where I stopped recognizing myself and stopped being happy. I wanted to look for the answer to that great pain because I wanted to get out of it, go ahead and start my life again, be better; but the real reason why I wanted to search for an answer to this indescribable pain was because I wanted to recover myself, I wanted to recover my smile, I wanted to recover my heart before it was destroyed, and also, that spark that belonged to me and allowed me to help others shine; before someone else stole it completely from me...

For me, one of the most complicated things I discovered while trying to recover myself is that; one of the most difficult and horrible parts of life is having to say goodbye, saying goodbye to a person. Saying goodbye to a person means many things to me, unfortunately none of them are positive; because saying goodbye to a person technically means leaving behind everything someone did for you, or wishing not to know anything more about a person, or also having to forget a person to move on. Saying goodbye to Forget someone" is like ripping out a vital organ from your body and bleeding out while someone is looking straight into your eyes and rubbing salt into an open wound, and you want to do something to change everything, to change the ending, but you can't; life doesn't allow it, because maybe things had to end that way...

Life is a totally crazy adventure, it is a constant ride on a roller coaster because nothing is ever stable, and just when you think it is and that you finally have things under control, life takes it upon itself to aggressively show you that it is not, because we are simply human beings trying to control a force greater than us...

And you know, something that I also understood with time moving on is that in life, there is a first time for everything, even when you are rejected and your heart is broken, and also when you fall in love with someone and that person tells you how much they love you and then they go with someone else; leaving you behind as if you were nothing.

I'm sorry, but you and I are never going to be in a relationship like that, but definitely friends, for your best interest and mine, you generally act with your emotions and it's important to take a breath."

That was the exact phrase that inspired me to write this whole bitter adventure of emotions, and also, the phrase that COMPLETELY killed my heart...
The meaning of the words doesn't really matter, it matters who they come from, because if a random person tries to hurt you, you won't care, but if someone who loves you does it, that can hurt you so much to the point of losing yourself and kill your heart with just one blow...

Juan Ventura.