What's the Number for 911?—America's Wackiest 911 Calls

911 Dispatch: "911, what's your emergency?" Caller: "What were the winning numbers for the Evening Pick Four today?"

Lauded as the "911 poster child" by Katie Couric, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory takes us back to where the funny all began.

From presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons and office idiots, Leland Gregory generates side-splitting laughter by chronicling the worst of human nature. Gregory takes us back to where all the laughs began by updating his 911 cult classic with more than 150 new tales of bizarre but true 911 calls such as:

.911: "Do you know a good stain remover?"

.911 Report: Person answered "no" to the question: "Are you conscious?"

.911 Report: Man called and requested dispatcher call his wife to let her know he's on his way home and that she shouldn't yell at him.

The jokes, wacky anecdotes, and inane quotes in Leland Gregory’s Stupid-themed anthologies showcase the best of human nature at its worst. Through his Twitter handle of @ChronicStupid, Leland shares headlines, quips, and unbelievable feats of folly culled from print, online, and broadcast media around the globe. He has authored more than a dozen humor titles, including What's the Number for 911? and the New York Times best-sellers Stupid American History and America's Dumbest Criminals. A tireless promoter, he has made hundreds of radio and television appearances, including multiple appearances on NBC's Today show.