My Life in a Tutu

Sitting in the dark once again, Jackie waited for the familiar turn of the key to signal he was home safe. It was a night like so many before, but this time anger burned within her soul. On March 11, 2001, the life she had known was shredded through the meat grinder that is infidelity. Jackie quickly spiraled out of control into a world of depression and self-loathing. Looking back, she began to see that this one incident wasn't the sole cause of her demise. A life of constantly striving to be perfect left her roots in shallow soil. And a debilitating fear persistently whispered, "It's too late for you." Would she ever be complete if not married? As her four children became impatient with the demise of their supermom, Jackie realized it was time to take an accounting of how she let herself fall so low---or lose her children too. Jackie spent months delving into her past despite wanting to run away from the task. After all, true recovery requires being brutally honest with all the pieces to the puzzle; not just the pain caused, but the role she played in it too.

Jackie Madden Haugh was born in 1952 in San Francisco, to the son of Irish Catholic immigrants and the daughter of silent movie actors. With the drama gene cursing strong through her siblings' veins, Jackie sought desperately to be noticed in a home dominated by three brothers. She wrote in the privacy of her room in journals hidden under lock and key. And for the next fifty years, Jackie would continue to struggle to speak her truth when overshadowed by domineering voices, writing volume after volume. In 2009, Jackie took her stories out of the bedroom and created "My Life in a Tutu" ---the first book in a trilogy of her evolution from a little girl with no voice to a woman standing proud and loud. The book has led Jackie to writing a monthly column in her local newspaper, "The Town Crier," covering all aspects of everyday life. After releasing her four children to the world, Jackie still lives in their childhood home of Los Altos, California, where her profession in real estate allows her the much-desired time to follow her passion---writing.