The Magic of Polyvagal Theory: How the Function of the Vagal Nerve can Serve to Foster a Stronger Rapport in Couple Therapy

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel uncertain or in danger but not really sure why? You may look around and see that no one else seems to be bothered, but something still feels off to you?

You may not realize it, but you are walking around in the world each day reading thousands of social cues in your environment. In our interacting with others, we pick up facial expressions, tones of voice, bodily movement, and more. We are constantly busy observing and interacting with the world and others as part of the human experience.

As we have these interactions with others, our sense of self is being shaped. We learn about ourselves and about others, who we can trust, and who feels dangerous to us. Our bodies are processing this type of information constantly through these interactions with the world.

Although the vagus nerve is known for being widely distributed and connected to a variety of areas of the body, it is important to note that this system can influence cranial nerves that regulate social engagement through facial expression and vocalization. As human beings who are wired for connection, we can understand how scanning for danger cues can happen frequently in our interactions with our significant other or important supportive others in our lives.

We innately long for feelings of safety, trust, and comfort in our connections with others and quickly pick up cues that tell us when we may not be safe. As people become safer with and for each other, it can be easier to build healthy bonds, share vulnerabilities, and experience intimacy with each other.

This book discusses the function of the vagal nerve and explores how application of the polyvagal theory can serve to foster a stronger therapeutic rapport with couples. Particular attention is paid to the role of neuroception and co-regulation in therapy and their effect on establishing trust and rapport within the therapeutic container. The book explores how clients in couple's therapy, as well as the client-therapist relationship, are affected by micro interactions, voice prosody, spatial proximity, and touch.