His Rider; Her Hitta

You think you know my story? You think you can walk a mile in my shoes and truly understand why I am the way that I am today? You can't begin to understand why my life is as fucked up as it is. Bullshit Take a walk in my shoes... feel all the hell, the hurt, and the pain that I've endured my entire life which made me turn to the streets to get the one thing that I have been urging for... the one thing that I always wanted... 'A Family'. I needed someone to love me beyond my fucked-up ways. Someone that I can fight to the death for, and I found it in Monika. She is everything a man could ever hope for in a woman. Smart, sexy, intelligent and willing to go the extra mile for her man. A Queen. My Queen. A diamond in the rough. A woman who isn't afraid to do what needs to be done. She is someone that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty, if you know what I mean...As a child, I always wondered why my mother hated me so much. She was the first person to teach me the type of women to stay away from. Basically, a woman that was just like her. Tuh, a weak woman in my book was one that was more than willing to fuck for a buck or pop her ass for a hit of dope. That definitely wasn't the type of woman that I ever wanted to deal with on any level. Hell, maybe she hated me for the fact that I reminded her of my father, who was a piece of shit ass man that wanted to control and abuse her because the wind blew the wrong way. Whatever the reason, that was what my mother wanted me to believe. Just knowing the type of woman she was, I could see why he left her ass. Who knows, maybe that was why he was beating her up all the time. Whatever her reasons were for her doing me the way she did, I no longer gave a damn. She was a cold-hearted bitch in my eyes... After leaving home as a little young nigga, I did the one thing that I had seen other young niggas my age do, and that was turn to the streets, where everything I wanted was now at my feet.Church folks stayed trying to tell me that if I didn't get my life right with the Lord that I was going to end up in jail or hell. I just figured, what could be worse than the hell or the jail that I had been facing my whole life. They say that this battle is a test of faith. You can choose to fight this battle head on or allow this battle to destroy you and everyone that you love. Hell, every day of my life has been one battle after the other just to keep my head up. Thankfully, I get to open my eyes to my beautiful blessings, but unfortunately, I have to think about my losses too. All that shit hurts my soul every day. I know that the battle that I fight is for my family. Every day I hit the streets hustling for them. It's like you never understand the real struggles that you will face until you're faced with fighting for the life that you once tried to take for granted. You question God, asking how he can put you on this earth just to see you suffer. Just to see you in the worst pain ever. Trying to get you to beg for this miserable ass life that you are forced to live. Let me start from the beginning...