Mr. Midshipman Easy: Complete

Mr Nicodemus Easy was a gentleman who lived down in Hampshire; he was a married man, and invery easy circumstances. Most couples find it very easy to have a family, but not always quite so easyto maintain them. Mr Easy was not at all uneasy on the latter score, as he had no children; but hewas anxious to have them, as most people covet what they cannot obtain. After ten years, Mr Easygave it up as a bad job. Philosophy is said to console a man under disappointment, althoughShakespeare asserts that it is no remedy for toothache; so Mr Easy turned philosopher, the very bestprofession a man can take up, when he is fit for nothing else; he must be a very incapable personindeed who cannot talk nonsense. For some time, Mr Easy could not decide upon what descriptionhis nonsense should consist of; at last he fixed upon the rights of man, equality, and all that; howevery person was born to inherit his share of the earth, a right at present only admitted to a certainlength that is about six feet, for we all inherit our graves, and are allowed to take possession withoutdispute. But no one would listen to Mr Easy's philosophy. The women would not acknowledge therights of men, whom they declared always to be in the wrong; and, as the gentlemen who visited MrEasy were all men of property, they could not perceive the advantages of sharing with those whohad none. However, they allowed him to discuss the question, while they discussed his port wine.The wine was good, if the arguments were not, and we must take things as we find them in thisworld.