The Wrong Ancient Mariner: And Other Variant Verses

Abandon disbelief, all ye who enter here. Or face problems when you encounter an ancient mariner with no tale worth telling, wild parties at Pooh Corner, John Betjeman moonlighting as a trapeze artist, Shakespeare assembling flat-pack furniture without the Instructions, Pam Ayres and her teeth on Judgement Day, Longfellow's reaction to the gift of a paper-shredder, the real writer of the Bard's plays, Robert Burns as a hater of the haggis, a very seasick John Masefield, the Lady of Shalott with a shotgun, Ogden Nash on the facts of life (no, not those facts), Philip Larkin's views on child carol singers and Noel Coward's on Council flats.

This excursion through the left field of English verse also features comments by word-smiths including Old Nokomis, Joan Hunter-Dunn, Wordsworth's ghost, Christopher Robin, Andrew Marvell's coy mistress, Betjeman's bit-swallowing pony, Tennyson's garden-phobic Maud, Cleopatra's Executor, Mrs Polonius, Nigel Molesworth, Maya Angelou's Christmas turkey, Eeyore and a cheese and pickle sandwich.

A light-heartedly irreverent read for all but the most po-faced of poetry fans. Several of its poems have already appeared in public, chiefly in The Spectator.

From the author of I Think I Thought which laughed wryly at the rites and wrongs of childhood, youth and ageing.