You Can Find Me in Her Shadow: My Sister Has Special Needs and This is My Story

Standing in what at times feels like the invisible and misunderstood realms that reside inside the shadows, somewhere between the world of disability and the busyness and the carelessness of the rest of humanity. Feeling like no one understood me, no one understood my family, and no one understood my life because it was so different from their own.

When I attempted to step into one of the worlds, it was only a matter of time before I felt I needed to leave, not feeling like I completely belonged. I struggled to be my authentic self when everyone wanted me to be the same as them. So, I altered who I was, I hid parts of myself, and because of this, I never actually felt whole. As I tried planting both of my feet in the two entirely different worlds simultaneously, living two separate lives all the time; being two different versions of myself, my authentic self, disappeared in the process.

Sometimes I wish that once in awhile, those around me asked about me; thought about me. They worried about my sister, and sometimes thought about my parents, but very few people think of the sibling. This is my story, told in a raw and authentic voice; I share my life from the perspective of being the sibling of a special needs child. Perhaps the sibling is the bridge, meant to merge two worlds that really coexist, as we are the product of both.