The Other Side of Grief ― Why the Journey Matters

On the other side of grief is a new life, a life re-built with God’s help—it is different, but blessed.

On July 24, 2014, Carol Barnum left her husband’s hospital room to get clothes for him to wear home. But while she was gathering his clothes, the doctor called to say Dave had taken a turn for the worse. By the time she returned to the hospital, the doctors were making their final efforts to resuscitate him. Carol’s husband of almost twenty-nine years had gone home to the Lord.

In The Other Side of Grief, Carol describes what it was like for her to travel the grief journey and the effects it had on her emotions, decision-making skills, confidence, physical health, and faith. She gently and honestly shares her reactions to questions like “Are you okay?” and emotionally-charged words like “widow.” By the end of that first year, she knew she would never say she’s better—just different. And that’s okay. Through her faith, she learned that rebuilding her life is part of the grief process, and even in sadness, God is able to bring blessings each day.

Carol’s deep and reflective insights into her own grief journey can help others understand and accept their own grief process or that of those dear to them. It helps to know that someone else has had sleepless nights, become frozen over something as simple as choosing socks, or cried when she saw a photograph of her loved one. It is comforting and encouraging to realize that these experiences are a normal part of the journey to the other side of grief.

Carol Barnum was born and raised in a Chicago suburb during a time when kids could play outside all day without fearing for their safety. She attended Northern Illinois University in corn country, where she received bachelors degrees in elementary and special education, learned about God, and met her future husband. She went on to earn her masters degree in education from Concordia University Wisconsin. Carol married Dave in 1985, and together, they raised two daughters, teaching them about football, the Packers, and the importance of being their own person. Throughout her years of teaching young children with special needs, Carol discovered that kids often know the most important things in lifelike when someone needs a hug. Her experiences have helped her learn that sometimes the most important thing to do is not to talk, but to listen with your heart.