Bullies, Tyrants, And Impossible People ─ How to Beat Them Without Joining Them

The impossible people who make life’s journey so difficult are everywhere—at the office, in restaurants, on airplanes, living next door, members of your own family. They’re . . .

‧ your “nothing is ever good enough” boss

‧ the “no price is ever low enough” client

‧ the next-door neighbor who redefines the meaning of paranoia

‧ the maitre d’ who looks through you as if you don’t exist

‧ the father-in-law who you know is always thinking about how much better a life his Janey or Joey would have if only married to someone other than you

Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski give you a simple and highly effective 4-point plan for dealing with all of them and more—N.I.C.E. Their system shows you how to neutralize your emotions so you don’t just react but act purposefully and wisely. It enables you to identify the type of bully, tyrant, or impossible person you’re facing—the situationally difficult (something has happened that turns an otherwise reasonable person into a temporary terror); the strategically difficult (she has empirical evidence that being difficult is a strategy that gets results); or simply difficult (being difficult is his 24/7 M.O.). Then you’ll learn how to shape the outcome by controlling the encounter and, finally, how to get “unstuck” by exploring your options.

Using colorful stories from all walks of life— “He called me the scum of the earth and it went downhill from there,” “First, lock all your vendors in a small room,” and “The boss from hell”—the authors bring their lessons to life, from business life to family life.


From the Hardcover edition.

Ronald M. Shapiro was called “one of baseball’s most respected agent-attorneys” by USA Today. He has advised an array of corporate and political leaders, helped settle a major symphony orchestra strike, diffused racial tension in a metropolitan police department, and found solutions to major league baseball’s owner-player and umpire conflicts.

Mark A. Jankowski has lectured on negotiation and dispute resolution at Johns Hopkins University and the Wharton School. He has worked with some of America’s leading businesses, including GenRe (a Berkshire Hathaway company), Gillette, MBNA America, and Black & Decker.

Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski are the coauthors of The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins—Especially You, and founders of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute.


From the Hardcover edition.